


open up (and let's keep trying)

by grandstander



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: Blow Job, Hand Job, M/M, Porn With Plot, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-14
Updated: 2016-03-14
Packaged: 2018-05-26 15:23:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6245050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grandstander/pseuds/grandstander
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Love is about building, and sometimes it takes a lot of work to build. </p>
<p>(That's fine, though, love is enough to help you keep trying.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> this is a long porn with plot oriented fic centered around gaius being a trans man and lon'qu's phobia
> 
> a major note is that i write lon'qu's phobia as, well, an actual phobia in that he will have anxiety attacks, panic attacks, break in sweat, ect. i took a lot of time to write this in a way i felt was accurate to their characters but respected both gaius' gender and lon'qu's phobia
> 
> it's not necessarily a major thing and gaius is never misgendered but i will put warnings in notes up here in chapters where the situation is more tense for those who'd prefer to skip 
> 
> i hope you all enjoy this and appreciate it!!

Gaius has Lon’qu in the palm of his hand, in quite the literal sense as well. It’s rather cute, how flustered such a man as the great Feroxi champion can be. Gaius doesn’t mind things being this way, with Lon’qu’s skin adorned with warm red and his thighs trembling when the thief touches him in any way. He chuckles the first few times, to which Lon’qu shoots him a rather crude look-- but it’s ferocity is dulled by the blush on his cheeks and the way his coat hangs open, chest exposed and his legs spread to let Gaius sit between them. 

The thief all but smiles to him, sweet in nature but there’s always his underlying mischief in such an expression. Gaius presses soft kisses to his cheeks and the corner of his mouth, a peace offering of sorts as he slowly and gently pulls his hand along the man’s shaft, a quick inhale from Lon’qu as he does so. It seems to be enough of an apology for the Feroxi soldier, his shoulders relaxing once more as one of his hands comes to rest on the shorter man’s slim hips. The kisses continue, though their rhythm is broken from time to time as the thief pauses to whisper against his skin, words that Lon’qu wouldn’t dare to repeat. In any other state, he’d most likely scold the over confident man, but the tone of his voice and the way his fingers stroke him leave Lon'qu a bit softened around the edges-- and the same words make his heart beat harder and burn the warm color against his skin even more.

Something else that probably makes this incredibly enjoyable for Gaius is the fact that, in a situation like this, he has someone so profound and incredibly powerful shaking and groaning from just his touch alone. It’s exhilarating in its own respect, though to say Gaius is doing it for his excitement alone would be a lie; there’s a fondness he couldn’t deny in his kisses and the way he pauses to watch the myrmidon, and also in the way that he bends to the champion’s wishes quite easily. He’d prefer to tease him, to rag him along and to bring him so painfully close and to see his body quiver only to be held back just slightly. Gaius would all but love to hear Lon’qu whine and beg for him.

That’s all for another time, though, in another moment or maybe left in a fantasy. The way Lon’qu gasps and says his name in a voice akin to a whisper, but husky and laden with his own state of arousal makes Gaius bend to his whims. He complies with his wishes, only light-hearted teasing following. Gaius has only been stroking Lon’qu’s length languidly while one of his hands rests on the myrmidon’s thigh, mostly to make sure he didn’t rush things for the older man. It’s really no surprise or secret at this point, Gaius could figure it out rather quickly, but the great and mighty Lon’qu was considerably inexperienced in sexual acts that incorporated more people than just himself. He actually admitted it outright, but he had stumbled over his words and a blush had spread over his face-- he was so incredibly embarrassed to say it, almost afraid of the thief’s reaction, but all Gaius had done was smile at him and give him a sweet kiss, one that actually soothed his nerves.

The thief moves slowly, sitting on one of the man’s thighs now while he kisses the myrmidon intensely and deeply. In the same moment, his free hand moves downward, curling slightly as he cups it around Lon’qu’s balls. The thief’s palm moves in smooth motions, rolling them in his palm and squeezing just the slightest bit. It draws a series of groans from Lon’qu, his breathing quickening while their kisses grow sloppier, Gaius’ tongue against his lips and his own mouth half parted. 

Lon’qu is a man of simplicity, and things related to carnal desire doesn’t quite... come to him. At least not very often, so to put it bluntly, it doesn’t take the flicks and curls of a wrist or the gentle pressure to make the man come; movement and friction is enough, and proves to be subsequently. While Gaius does not voice it, he’s a little disappointed he couldn’t drag the moment on longer, but it’s still worth it to hear a deep groan while Lon’qu’s hand squeeze his upper arms, his body shivering as he comes in the thief’s hand. Gaius holds his teasing tongue for a few moments at the very least, waiting for the grip on his arms to relax and for the breathing against his shoulder to ease into a steadier rhythm. 

“Did you enjoy yourself, cupcake?” There is a hint of teasing in his voice, but there’s an obvious affection, too. Gaius moves his hands carefully away, lifting himself off and over the champion’s thigh as he moves off the bed without waiting for an answer. 

There wasn’t one Lon’qu had to offer either, though he feels a bit awkward and doesn’t quite know what to do with himself now. His skin is still touched with soft hints of red, his gaze shifted away from Gaius as he cleans his hands off with a cloth-- Lon’qu doesn’t know what it is or where it came from, and decides it’s best not to ask. When he finally returns to the bedside, Gaius sits down with a very satisfied grin on his phase (and perhaps looking a little expectant). With an obvious air of nervousness, Lon’qu clears his throat to speak, the blush on his face all the more visible. 

“Do you--um, Do you want me to...?” 

The thief’s eyebrows raise, his head cocking to the side with a low hum of inquiry in response, “Hm? What is it now, do I want what?” It’s painfully obvious Gaius is dragging his response out, much to the myrmidon’s dismay. Lon’qu huffs in response, to which he hears the thief chuckle and speak once more. “Ya’ know, for such a big n’ strong champion, you’re so cute.” The look Gaius gets in return was completely worth it, furrowed eyebrows, blush and all. 

“Would you... like me to p-pleasure you as well?” Lon’qu’s voice gradually gets softer as he asks that question, his eyes falling away as he finds himself too flustered to make eye contact. Gaius’ coy grin softens immediately, a soft sigh leaving him as he leans forward to press a kiss to his lover’s cheek. “No, I’m fine, cupcake, but I appreciate knowing how much you _shamelessly_ desire me.” 

Lon’qu looks at him with the same flustered and offended look from before, his brows furrowed deeply and his lips pursed tightly together before he finally speaks. “You-- You’re unbelievable.” Gaius laughs in response, a sound that’s full and rumbles in his chest in pure amusement. When the thief speaks, the same bright tone carried into his voice, “I know, I know... I’ll be going now, goodnight cupcake, get plenty of beauty sleep.” For some reason, Gaius adds a wink to his farewell, to which Lon’qu rolls his eyes. 

As Gaius is leaving his tent, Lon’qu bids him a goodnight with as much affection as Gaius had given to him in his actions.


	2. Chapter 2

It’s strange to see the thief the next day, his mannerisms unchanged except for perhaps the way the corners of his lips pull just slightly when Lon’qu’s gaze meets his. Or, perhaps Lon’qu is the strange one-- his cheeks burning every time they’re close, whenever the other sits beside him that evening at dinner as if all is still casual; and by all means, it still is, Lon’qu is just more of an awkward lover than he’d have thought. 

They’re lovers now, right? Lon’qu’s sure of it, though he errs on the side of caution, a little worried that maybe Gaius doesn’t really see it that, but then the champion considers how his voice softens when they speak and the way the thief leans against him for a brief second before leaving the table. Surely, they’re lovers now, what with the way they kiss and the way Gaius always leaves the prospect of being together more _openly_ on the table.

Lon’qu doesn’t deny him for long, being a curious individual in his own right, and it’s similar to the time before but now the thief has him leaning against a tree, nails digging into the bark of the tree while Gaius’ head bobs between his thighs. 

His pants have been pushed down crudely, parts of his toned thighs exposed while they try to remain discreet, though the noises and occasional muffled grunt from the swordsman wasn’t helping their cause. Gaius remembers his tricks from before, too, pulling off the man’s cock with a fluid motion, his hand wrapping around the top and pumping quickly while moving his mouth along the base. Lon’qu’s fingers grate against the bark, his sharp inhales getting rougher until the slow teasing of Gaius’ mouth against him and the barely there press of his tongue isn’t satisfying. Lon’qu’s hand curls into smooth, orange hair, grabbing a fistful perhaps a little more roughly than he had intended and pushes Gaius’ face against him. 

Admittedly, the thief is fine with the rough treatment, and would encourage more of it-- though the action itself earns a chuckle from him as the myrmidon shows more impatience. His tongue slides against the base once more, this time his eyes watching Lon’qu for his reaction when his mouth curves around the dip of his balls and pulls them into his mouth. It was one feeling entirely when it was just Gaius’ hand rolling against them, but with his tongue and the warmth of his mouth (is he sucking on them a little? oh gods), Lon’qu withers in his touch with his back sinking just slightly against the tree. A moan that hitches in his throat and tumbles out messily can be heard clearly, and Gaius feels satisfaction settle in his chest.

“Are ya’ alright up there, cupcake?” ego is dripping from his voice, a sly grin on his face he takes a moment to speak while his hand leisurely massages the head of Lon’qu’s dick. 

“I-Isn’t that obvious?” Lon’qu’s voice would have sounded harsher if it weren’t for the trip over his words, or the obvious embarrassment in his features as the hand that isn’t resting on top of Gaius’ head (fingers now uncurled) is now covering the lower half of his face. _Why does he always have to tease like this?_

Another soft laugh can be heard, followed by “I’m glad,” and Gaius is genuinely quite happy to please his partner this way. This time, the thief doesn’t waste time or carry on with teasing, but perhaps his abruptness is just as torturous as his teasing when he takes all of Lon’qu into his mouth. Really, it should be no shock that he can do so, but it still makes Lon’qu grunt and his hips shake. Another point of pride, and the slow pumps of his head along the shaft and the way his tongue moves against it as he pulls back, the myrmidon feels his body growing warmer and warmer. The urge to move faster starts as a slight nudge of his palm, but it turns into a gradual steady push and his back arching forward while the heat of Gaius’ throat envelops him. 

It’s a mess when he comes-- or, more likely, Lon’qu is a mess when he comes, his thighs shaking and hips straining forward as he holds Gaius’ against him. Gaius has no problems with it, and doesn’t struggle whatsoever, and when Lon’qu feels his throat contract around his slowly softening dick knowing full well what he did, he can’t help but look down to watch it. 

There’s no mess in sight, though it may have been a slight disappointment, but it’s still satisfying to see Gaius pull back while whipping his mouth on the back of his hand with pride in his expression. Lon’qu is still breathing heavily, his stance awkward against the tree as he struggles to stand up properly while dressing his lower half properly. The thief’s hands rest near his own, guiding his motions and helping him make himself presentable once more (excluding the blush against his face and the disheveled hair). 

Lon’qu extends the same courtesy, helping Gaius onto his feet and pulling his cloak over his shoulders once more-- though he can’t provide the same assistance Gaius had given him with the way his cloak folds around his neck. It all but confuses him, and watching Gaius do it as swiftly as he has over the years provides no clarity (though it is amusing for the thief). 

Though, when Gaius leans in to kiss him, he notices the hesitance in the champion’s response, which immediately leaves Lon’qu feeling guilty and leaves Gaius laughing.

“It’s fine, it’s fine.” the thief tells him after a few seconds of laughing; really, he can’t blame the other for being hesitant to kiss-- but it’s still rather funny in hindsight. The thief settles for a chaste kiss on the lips and a moment in Lon’qu’s embrace, sighing before he makes to pull away. The taller man, though, hasn’t made to let go of him while he wrestles with his own courage. One of his hands rather shyly moves from Gaius’ hips to his back, wanting to move further down but he’s a little too wary of moving without any confirmation. 

The thief is a little enthralled with the act, lips pulling into a grin and a half-lidded gaze turned up towards the taller man when he speaks. “Oh, ya’ still want a little more, huh? You’re more energetic than I thought.” Gaius leans into him once again, this time pressing a kisses to the other man’s lips. Lon’qu hesitantly moves his hand once more, though his touch ends up quite firm (and a little eager). 

His hand cups the shorter man’s ass, squeezing lightly-- and to his silent delight, Gaius’ ass is full and soft, leading to a few more light kneading squeezes. “Enjoying yourself?” Gaius’ question disturbs Lon’qu’s concentration, and leaves him feeling flustered (though his hand stays where it is).

“I-- I am...” the swordsman’s voice trails off when he answers, though a bright color still remains on his face. It has for some time now, and it’s almost commonplace to see it when they’re physical with one another, but Gaius loves it nonetheless. It frame his face wonderfully, and compliments his warm skin tone. While the thief admires him for what seems like ages, and it’s oh so obvious in his eyes and the gentle smile on his face, the great champion of Ferox is trying to build up his courage as quickly as he can. 

Lon’qu leans in to give him a chaste kiss, and Gaius moves into the action so smoothly it’s like they’re going to melt into one another, two curves winding down into one point. It’s a gentle motion, and the same ease and gentleness caries into the way he pulls his hand around the curve of Gaius’ thigh, stopping at it’s side as they break apart from one another. 

Gaius is hyper-aware of the hand on his thigh, though he doesn’t change his expression or attitude, he doesn’t want to move too quickly or too rashly. The look on his lover’s face puts him at ease at least a little, though, eyes soft and there’s still some nervousness under it all. Gaius curls his palm around the taller man’s upper arm, thumb stroking the exposed skin as he leans forward, their foreheads meeting and the tips of their noses nearly touching as well. 

His hand moves over the thief’s thigh once more, the tips of his fingers brushing the curve of it before gently moving inward. Lon’qu’s a little nervous when he does so, glancing down between them and back up at the thief’s face to make sure he’s alright, he’s not too clumsy, to make sure Gaius enjoys this too. His touch is light, despite how large his hand is and how rough the skin on his fingers is, and it sends a soft lulling roll of enjoyment through the other man’s body. A hum rises in Gaius’ throat, followed by a sigh exhaled through his nose and he leans briefly into it as Lon’qu’s hand strokes and begins to massage the skin there. 

Admittedly, Gaius would have let it carry on, but there’s his own demons and fears that curl tightly in the back of his mind. The make him tense in every sense of the word, especially when the hand in between his thighs rises up. The thief meets it before it can come much further, grabbing Lon’qu’s wrist and meeting his shocked and startled gaze with as soft of an expression as he can muster. 

“Slow down there, big guy,” he says, chuckling a little it hide his own panic. “Maybe next time, alright?” he tries to play it off gently, and he’s already thinking of excuses (though he knows Lon’qu won’t really press much). 

“Oh-- I... I’m sorry.” the myrmidon says, sounding more crestfallen than he meant to, while mentally chiding himself for messing up somehow; he must be really awful at this.

“No, no-- it’s fine, cupcake. You were doing fine.” he tries to reassure him, cooing slightly and his head turning as he leaves a soft kiss after he speaks. “It felt good, don’t worry... I just-- I get a little nervous, too, ya’ know?” Gaius is a bit embarrassed to admit it, and it’s not exactly a lie (he is nervous, but probably for different reasons than Lon’qu thinks). 

Lon’qu hums in acknowledgement, though he still feels as if he did something wrong. He moves his hand so that he can slip his fingers in between Gaius’ thinner ones. “It’s alright, I promise.” Gaius says once more, and leans forward, pressing their bodies close and pressing his cheek against Lonqu’s cheek. When he leans back, his other hand comes up and rests against the side of Lon’qu’s face, his head cocking to the side as Gaius looks at him with the utmost affection. 

“Next time, alright? Lemme get some things from Anna. Besides, it’s already been a while, we should probably head back to camp.” when Gaius mentions the particular sells woman, Lon’qu’s blush returns tenfold, and he probably knows what Gaius will be purchasing-- well, at least they’ll be plenty prepared then. 

“.. Ah, yes, I suppose we should.”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this is the chapter where gaius' reveals him being trans  
> i'm quite proud of it and i think i did well here, but that is just my own judgement 
> 
> please be wary here if you're triggered by being misgendered in any facet 
> 
> feel free to skip this chapter, too, or just read the end i suppose

They’re in Gaius’ tent for a change, as their romantic and sensual affairs seem to happen most often in Lon’qu’s (no doubt because Gaius loves to sneak in and surprise him, much to the older man’s dismay). They shared gentle small talk and chaste kisses, though most seem to come from Lon’qu-- who has proven himself to be quite the sappy romantic; nonetheless, Gaius enjoys the attention, and the fluttering of his heart is a little new but altogether fine as well. 

Lon’qu rids himself of his coat while the thief is unfurling the the curls of his cloak from around his neck, and again Lon’qu is reminded of how much trouble he had helping Gaius with the garment a few weeks before. They’re still mostly dressed, but once Gaius has his cloak off, it’s really striking how petite he really is. Lon’qu doesn’t normally think about it, but he fits within his own frame with ease, and he looks--- well, a cliche thought, but he still looks so beautiful. With his shoulders bare, he struggles with the urge to kiss them and to hold the younger man close to him (then again, he struggles with that desire more and more these days). When Gaius tosses the draping cloth onto a crate nearby and turns to face him, smile on his face, there’s a throb in his chest and Lon’qu can’t help but return it, his head cocking to the side. That blooming feeling in his chest bubbles up into laughter, his arms stretching out as he pulls the thief into an embrace.

Gaius’ laughter can be heard with it shortly after, though it’s jumbled up with confused questions. Whatever seriousness they could hold doesn’t have weight, though, considering the grin on his face matching Lon’qu’s smile. 

“Sorry, sorry-- I’m just very happy to be with you.” Color spreads on Lonqu’s face as it tends to do when he gets this mushy, but his words ring true, so he’s not all too flustered to proclaim it. 

“You’re so cliche.” Gaius says, though he kisses him deeply and wraps his arms around the older man’s neck, while he considers that while, yes, Lon’qu is certainly cliche it’s something he’s begun to love about him. It’s a new feeling, perhaps a little strange, but it’s not unwelcome to feel this loved-- this golden and new again, after all these years and all this struggle, and in the midst of a war, too. It’s more a blessing, yes, that’s it; it’s a blessing and so is Lon’qu. 

“Don’t get too carried away now, we haven’t even gotten to the main event.” Gaius jokes, though Lon’qu still looks as lovesick as ever. 

Reluctantly, the swordsman lets the younger man break from his arms, though it’s at least followed by Gaius taking his wrist and leading him back to the messy bed (it seems Frederick’s protocol for keeping a tidy and made bed has fallen on deaf ears). Gaius has him sit down first, and as he’s doing so, Lon’qu catches a glimpse of him biting his lip for a passing second-- maybe he really is more nervous than Lon’qu believed. It’s hard to picture those two words close to one another, though, ‘Gaius’ and ‘nervous’ don’t usually connect in his mind. His name is most often followed by ‘confident’ and ‘mischievous’ more often than not. 

“I need you to do somethin’ for me, cupcake-- I need you to close your eyes, alright?” He asks, though his tone is earnest and there’s a genuine plea. Is Gaius shy about his body? Lon’qu wonders why on earth that would be, considering all the casual remarks he makes; however, he nods to Gaius, figuring it would be kinder not to press for more.

When he closes his eyes, he can feel Gaius move away as the hand that rested on his knee leaves and he no longer can feel the warmth of him nearby. All he can really hear, too, are the sounds of fabric rustling and the occasional clasp being undone. 

Meanwhile, Gaius fingers are starting to shake a little, and he’s struggling to keep his breathing under control. The only people who know about this are Robin and Anna, mostly because he trusts them and because Anna discreetly helps him get the products he needs from time to time. They’re a blessing, the two of them, and while Gaius has the utmost faith that Lon’qu is not one to gossip-- it’s the other man’s phobia that has him worried, for his own sake and for Lon’qu’s. It’s no fault of their own, really, but Gaius has seen when he’s about to have an anxiety attack or a panic attack, and it pains him to think he could possibly be the source of one. 

He’s fairly sure Lon’qu won’t see him differently-- at least he hopes, he prays, and the way he whispers to him and the way he kisses ‘I love you’s into his skin reassures him a little bit, but there’s always going to be that fear when he reveals this sort of thing to someone. He sighs as he discards his pants, able to feel the wide shape of his hips again. Usually his armor and the leather pieces he wears helps hide his figure a great deal, but the supple curve is hard to deny now. All that remains is his vest, and the shaking in his fingers is still there as he slowly pulls it off his shoulders. 

Gaius is scared, terribly so, it’s written all over his face and he’s doing his best to pacify himself. Thank the gods he’s at least good at saving face, and he steels himself he can in the last moments as he can hear the swordsman start to shift on the bed, no doubt getting a little curious and impatient. 

“Before you open your eyes-- if you want to leave, or you want me to leave, that’s okay.” His voice is deceptively calm, but he doesn’t miss the way Lon’qu’s brows furrow when he says that. “Alright, you can open ‘em.” 

Gaius almost holds his breath after he says that, his lips pursing as his hand squeezing his forearm and he watching Lon’qu’s face for any and every reaction.

Lon’qu’s mostly curious when he opens his eyes, but when he sees Gaius for the first time-- body bare and-- oh, oh gods. Gaius’ nervousness from their shared moments before now makes sense to him, but it still feels like an anchor is being dropped in his belly. His hands clutch the sheets, and he struggles to recall what Gaius said before, and he wants to ask-- wants to say something, but Gaius looks just as nervous if not more so than he does. It makes him feel awful, to his very core, and it’s not as if he could leave without saying anything, that’d all together be crushing the poor man’s heart and he can’t do that, he can’t. His skin is growing paler and he tries to just focus on Gaius’ face, and it helps a little bit, but there’s still beads of sweat on his brow. 

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.” Gaius says to him, and he feels like he’s betraying him a little bit-- and when Lon’qu hears that he wants to reassure him, wants to tell him that he didn’t have to tell him anything and he still loves him, but his throat feels dry and swollen. 

Gaius hasn’t moved an inch from where he stands, and he feels equally queezy with worry. Their eyes have been locked for several agonizing seconds, until Gaius finally looks away, unable to bare the weight of it. His arms move to cover his chest, and he wish he could cave in on himself. Lon’qu’s heart aches seeing him like that, and he curses himself to high heaven and to the gods above; but they know that neither of them could be to blame for this. Lon’qu swallows the cotton-like lumps in his throat, several times in fact, and he can’t seem to push it back so he clears his throat as his palms slide into his lap and he folds his hands tightly together. 

“C-Can I t-turn around?” _I don’t want to ask you to leave,_ he wants to add but it’s taken all his control to say that as clearly as he could. 

“Of course.” Gaius answers him, and despite the worry that’s written all over his body he sounds much calmer. Lon’qu hopes that his tone holds some truth, but he doesn’t take the extra time to ask as he turns around on the bed, exhaling slowly to calm his breathing. 

“I’m sorry…” he says not long after, and it’s obvious in how sunken he sounds that he feels awful for having reacted this way. Gaius doesn’t blame him all too much, it went better than he expected, but all the same it still hurts a little (a lot, actually, but no one can blame him for his body and no one can blame Lon’qu for his trauma). “I’m sorry, Gaius.” Lon’qu says again, his head bowing and he can see him clenching his fists. 

“It’s alright, cupcake, I understand.” Gaius replies, trying to soothe him in some way, and there is some softness to his voice that is comforting as stressful as the situation may be.

There’s silence for some time, and Lon’qu’s not really sure what to do-- but in some respects is much needed for the both of them, and he can hear the quietly shuffling of fabric again while his heartbeat slows done and his breathing evens out. He’s staring at the wall of the tent now, somewhat zoned out-- and absolutely exhausted already; these sorts of anxiety attacks always take so much out of him. Lon’qu is a man of resolve, though, and resolve mixed with love can be a force to trifled with, as is the case with the champion in question. Fear and anxiety be damned, if there is one thing inside of this war-aged body it’s discipline and perseverance, and his heart has made it an effective driving force.

“I want to try again.” He says it suddenly, proclaims it almost, and if he were facing the other man he could see the determination in his face. 

“Now? But I’m already dressed again.” Admittedly it’s a bit of a pain to keep taking the leather chest piece on and off, and there’s a hint of exhaustion in his voice. 

“N-no, not now.. I-I meant some other time. I want to try again… because-- because I love you. I want to be able to look at how beautiful you are.” Well, boldness sometimes only lasts a second, but he’s still determined despite withering into rambling and a flustered heart. He can hear Gaius chuckle behind him, and it’s a bit of a relief to hear that sound again; it’s much better, a lot better than thinking about the way his eyebrows were pulled up and how his jaw was clenched. 

“I love you, too, cupcake.” He says, his tone of voice warmer and returning to its old self again. Lon’qu internally breathes a sigh of relief when he hears it, and perhaps physically too from the way his shoulders relax and he begins to turn his head back around. 

His smile is nervous, but still genuine, and he’s a little glad to see that Gaius has tougher skin than he does when it comes to topics like this (well, that’s a tentative statement, but nonetheless it holds some truth). Gaius sits down on the bed next to him, leaning back so that they’re just about face to face. 

“Let’s start bathing together. Maybe you’ll get used to seeing me naked then?” Gaius says, a little hopeful, and Lon’qu takes a few moments to ponder it. Controlled exposure, and semi-regular exposure might help him climb the hurdle, and after a few seconds he nods. 

“Alright.” He answers, hopeful smile returning as he leans forward and kissing Gaius gently, and Gaius momentarily feels that golden hue settle on him again knowing that his beloved is still alright with him. It’s comforting, and his will to try again also makes him incredibly happy. 

“Do you want to stay here with me tonight?” Gaius asks as he moves onto the bed more, his legs dangling off the edge as he’s curled around Lon’qu so that his head is resting on one of Lon’qu’s knees. 

“Please.” Lon’qu says, his hand beginning to stroke Gaius’ hair.


End file.
